1. |
The Truth
04:35
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It’s just the story of a father
And his father and his son
And everything we’ve ever done
You’ve mentioned that I’m crazy
You won’t hear me disagree
No one knows better than me
And I’m not gonna lie
There’s only one thing on my mind:
To live forever or die trying
‘Cause every day just keeps disappearing in the blink of an eye
And I’ve got no time for photographs
Yeah, I tore every one in half
There’s just today, and I gotta get busy
And the stories of our fathers
Become the stories of our sons
It’s just how it’s always been done
So there’s only one conclusion
I imagine you’ll agree
The whole thing’s as crazy as me
And I’m not gonna lie
There’s only one thing on my mind:
To live forever or die trying
‘Cause every day just keeps disappearing in the blink of an eye
And I’ve got no time for photographs
Yeah, I tore every one in half
There’s just today, and I gotta get busy
Don’t sell your soul
For less than you owe
Of all ways to go
Ain’t no way back home down that road
Don’t sell your soul
For less than you owe
More than you know
All of this has gotten me thinking…
When all of this is over
Fly my ashes to the sky
And just let ‘em fall from on high
Like a dream of summer weather
I’ll be blowing with the leaves
Forever a part of the breeze
And then I’ll be the truth
I’ll be all we always knew but never really understood
I’ll be somewhere regardless of place and on the outside of time
And I’ll redraw every photograph
Yeah, no more carving up the past
Just every day
No time to get busy
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2. |
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Where do I go from here?
It’s never been less clear
Should it worry me at all
If I can’t see my picture on the wall?
And where do I go from here?
When it feels like I haven’t walked in years
I just laid down
I still blacked out — I just stopped coming around
And how could I ever find
Everything I need?
Is it all right
If I’m not a man but just a bag of bones?
And after all these years of wishful thinking
And questions that have long since lost their meaning
My one regret
Is everything that hasn’t happened yet
And why do these ghosts appear?
Never letting go, never really here
I find I can’t recall
Most of the past winter, spring or fall
And after all these years of wishful thinking
And questions that have long since lost their meaning
I’m no closer than I’ve been
So, I guess I’ll just ask myself again
Where do I go from here?
Idealize the past? Make decisions out of fear?
But even through the gray
Well, I swear the sun, it used to shine every day
Every day
Tell me I’m no different
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3. |
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Thought I could never live without you
Then you began to slip away
Oh, my...
My, how things have changed
Thought I could just reclaim the old days
That everything could be the same
But, my…
My, how things have changed
And now it’s hard to tell...
A time to linger from a time to move on
A new beginning from all the days come and gone
The thrill of springtime from the chill of the frost
All I’ve found from all the things that I’ve lost
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4. |
The Answer
06:25
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In those days I still held to a certain belief in an Answer
Something I could hold onto as I made my way down the road
But beauty and bitterness, joy and desire proved distracting
And the Answer just stayed buried in the snow
Yeah, the Answer just stayed buried in the snow
So, I moved on and on till I found myself so far south that
I forgot that I ever had meant to go home
And I tried, but I couldn’t quite course-correct quickly enough
To avoid meeting some darkness in my soul
Yeah, the darkness I’d been happy to ignore
So, I showed my face to the sun every chance that I got
And all I’d heard, ever seen, ever said seemed a lifetime ago
And all too soon all I had known had been all but forgotten
What was left, it only left me wanting more
Yeah, the answers only left me wanting more
Till I realized all I had to show
For ten years or more
Was unbridled potential, a sense of impending disaster
And an Answer
In the snow
So, with nowhere else to go…
I called home
And said,
"I know what we’re here for.
Yeah, I know what we’re here for."
In this place we call home
I know what we’re here for
Yeah, I know what we’re here for
So, I walked for years just to whisper a message and offer
Some version of all I had learned on the way
But all I could deliver was something much cheaper and harsher
Than everything I knew but couldn’t say
Than the Answer that I couldn’t quite explain
And I still don’t know to this day
Exactly what changed
But everything all at once seemed somehow simply to say
There’s really little else except to stay
And to ask anew every day
And to call home
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5. |
Welcome Home
02:22
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Welcome home, my son, for the first time.
I missed you so much
Even before I knew
You
Were the one
You are.
Do you recall your words or my reply the first time we spoke in this new world?
I do.
Ain’t it strange the way we never change or stay the same?
The way I’m me
The way you’re you
Ain’t it all strange but true?
Ain’t it strange but true?
I love you.
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6. |
Present: Tense
03:00
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I had not believed till present tense
In any kind of sacred residence
In anything my body couldn’t sense
Now I need no earthly evidence
So, let the record not reflect
Anything I’ve done or said
Any sign of social debt
The truth about this privilege:
That hell pays for what heaven spends
Till hell can barely make the rent
But we have all been heaven-sent
To each our own self-righteousness
So, let the rebirth now commence
Acceptance is your best defense
Too many days too poorly spent
To just forgive when no one repents
No prophets and no providence
Just you and me, and if not now, when?
And no peace till the violence ends
More to do before I rest
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7. |
Under Hospital Ceilings
02:27
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Let the spokesman say his peace
Just pretend this will all be over in a few weeks
But we all know the truth, I guess
‘Cause no one really knows what’s gonna happen next
And I don’t know what it means
I just know that it’s not about
A search for meaning under hospital ceilings
And I don’t know what it means
I just know that it’s not about
Being broken, or having my dreams stolen
My lease on life
Was creased and folded over twice
Now I can see the end
Where my youth had just been
Take it easy, get some rest
Ain’t so easy with these echoes in my head
Only one thing clear to me:
The future just ain’t what it used to be
And I don’t know what it means
I just know that it’s not about
A search for meaning under hospital ceilings
And I don’t know what it means
I just know that I’m just about
At my wit’s end, and I’m tired of pretending
That I’m okay when I’m not okay
When I might never be okay
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8. |
Here I Am
05:58
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Where do I belong?
What a strange question
What does that even mean?
Don’t I know by now there’s no such thing?
We are where we happen to be
So let’s not pretend it’s our fault
But let’s not pretend we’re not all part
Part of it all, we’re part of it all
We’re all part of the story
We’re part of it all, we’re all part of it all
We’re all part of the horror and the glory
We’re part of it all, we’re part of it all
We’re all part of the same long story
How strange to realize
I really, really am alive!
Which means I’ll die.
Don’t I know by now not to spend my days drifting further away?
When what would I give in the end for five minutes more with an old friend?
And yet, here I am
Here I am.
Here I am!
So, if time gives no reason for leaving each season behind
Then I can get by without quite knowing how it all rhymes
We’re all sons of sons
Born of what’s yet to come
Nothing more than what’s already been said and done
So, whether I cry
Or I hold my head high
While it’s there to get, I get by
With a smile
And I don’t ask why
I don’t know why
I don’t need to know why
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9. |
Nothing Special
01:39
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Well, I try so goddamn hard to get so far that I don’t go nowhere
I see every single thing as it could be, and then I just sit there
And I don’t know why
I don’t know why
Well, now it’s just you and me, so privately, I have a confession
I believe now, you and me, though we’re unique, we ain’t nothing special
And that’s all right
Yeah, that’s all right
Well, as people come and go, I’ve come to know we’ve all met before
And our memories are gone, but we live on over and over and over
And we don’t know why
And that’s all right
Yeah, that’s all right
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10. |
Old Souls
04:51
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Every day and every night are just the time I’ve been given
The time of my life
So, every night and day I try to have the time of my life
I pledge to live right — right as I raise each drink
I try to keep it simple, but there’s too much time to think
And then it’s over before you can blink
Oh, and when all that I asked for was a little more time
All they gave me was a piece of their mind
And when all that I wanted was to have nothing at all
All they gave me was a piece of the pie
Until I found that I…
I was barely alive
Under the weight of all that I dragged behind
That wasn’t me
Just “mine”
Hear my confession: I’ve made concessions, but my foot is down now
Fear and aggression, shame and depression, all of the wheels I’ve spun around
All of my questions with no answers to be found
Yeah, I give it all back to the ground
All my obsessions and all my collections and all of my stresses and all my successes
My bones and my flesh and the heart in my chest and all of the rest
Just take it!
I’ll still be left
Oh, and when all that I asked for was a little more time
All they gave me was a piece of their mind
And when all that I wanted was to have nothing at all
All they gave me was a bigger piece of the pie
Until I found that I…
Just as sure as I breathe
I believe
That the less that I ask for
The less that I need
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11. |
Summer Sun
02:42
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Summer sun
So glad you’ve come
To wash away
All the cold gray
All the old ways
All the things I’ve left undone
Sweet summer sun
So glad you’ve come
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Cousin Wolf Seattle, Washington
Cousin Wolf is the indie-folk music project of Matt Halvorson. An earnest, prolific songwriter, Halvorson’s songs plumb the depths of his soul, and he sings each delicate tune with captivating intensity. Stay tuned for upcoming singles from the long-awaited baseball concept album "Nine Innings," set to be released throughout the 2021 baseball season. ... more
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